making another choices

From Sunday till Tuesday...
I am not happy with my life and for the second choices
Don't know why or weather is it really my fault for not making my decisions properly
ever since I told my mom about it...I thought she was totally fine with it
but then when yesterday came....there goes a big argument... ):

why la....every time when I talk to her
its either peaceful chat or else is argument straight
I know this is my second mistake that I have made.....
I mean I'm a very complicated person ok? I'm not happy
Can't really make true decisions what I want in my future life....

Before that...Hotel Management and Tourism
Disliked the course very very much, had to blamed myself
after High School....I cant really full decide what I want...
so my mom had to make for me and I really blamed her for this
and after my course completed, did my six months training
my mind completely went blank till when Christmas comes...
still blank and don't know what I want for my future career

and again mom really pressured me much
when it comes to year 2o10...I thought it'll be peaceful
but she's giving me limited choices that I finally gave up
and worked for two months....again my mind was "Blank"
Told you all... I'm very complicated and very hard at making choices

almost totally forgotten that my nephew
my closest nephew is here studying at KL
forgotten when was my last and earliest time contacted him
so ya I told him to throw out any courses at Sun-way..maybe some suggestion I guess
that's why I came to Sun way to come in registering the course without looking through at it

So that's my Second mistake..for not reading the brochure properly
my four beloved brothers they kept encouraging me to study
something which relates to socializing....but when I found out
I'm not happy with this course, this isn't the course that I want
There's isn't any "Communication" job offers me when I graduate later on

my goodness again I've made the second mistakes.....AGAIN!!
why my life is so TWIST UP AND DOWN?
why can't I make my own decision that I don't need to worry my mom a lot?
why is my life SO TERRIBLY COMPLICATED?
WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?!

Mom not to say I really dislike you in every ways
you are my mom and I should respected you from that since was young
I know my wrongs and I know future making decisions are very hard for me
I really understand that you and Dad are making hard money just to fulfill my dreams
but it's just that I don't know how to express my feeling to show that....
actually I LOVED YOU BOTH!!! MOM AND DAD!!!

I feel totally SPOILED AND CONFUSED RIGHT NOW!!
People who reads my blog right now maybe thinking that
my life is useless and I'm a messed up girl still can't make decision's
go ahead and just laugh, I think I really can't decide ):
But again mom... please let me change college

IM NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW
PLEASE....I NEED HELP AND DECISIONS
THE BEST WAY I NEED COUNSEL LING FROM FRIENDS



p/s: I'm not happy