why is my heart still bleeding?

yesterday went shopping with mommy
damn satisfied and yet happy
cause I shop till I drop (:
and once I reached ou shopping centre


first thing I do
I walked like a mad puppy
all the way straight from carpark centre
and waste my beautifull strength to meet up with Nat
ah...it feel so gud and blessed to see her again
my beloved sis (:

what did we do at mph bookstore?
I noe bookstore can be really a bored to death
but what we did is some seriously crazy chats
and we even call "him"hehehehehe
but who knows......what the heck....
"him" gonna eat dinner for one hour =="

roflmao...eat dinner so long siah
then only Nat my sis told me
"he" watch and played with his food while eating O.O
then Nat sis also warn me...dun sms him during dinner time

and while chatting with my dearest sis
I spotted a cooking recipe book
Cupcakes (: my love (:
and together we both like pretending to walk around
busy looking for books and magazines....but too bad
I forgot to bring my camera,cant cam-whore ):

anywaix boy oh boy
man I can still feel the blood flooding in my heart
its so pain.....its like truck loads of needle just poke in...
I still feel sorry and guiltyness inside.....
hope you are not upset with me or whatever is it
please Im begging you,stay strong and be happy



I love you.......
I miss you.......
from the bottom of my heart............
loving you always.........

Holidays are coming,boom!

Hehehehe yeaps yeaps
boom and boom boom boom "KA-BOOM"
the holidays are about to start in this weekends
only left two more days to go and oh my gosh
and I haven even start my new year shopping

lets just say or call me
Im always known as a "last-minute" "Lady" (:
reasons to be told and so on.......
oh well I just know that I tend to make decisions last minute *always*
and I just cant seem to kick out that last minute habit ><
oh well....lets hope that after the holidays I wont be a last min "lady" (:

hmm on Monday it was damn holy crap
I thought everything would be perfect
woke up damn preety early at 7.30am
just to practise my greeting on how to talk to "him"
and yess of course my "bear" I bought him along
Nat Siow my beloved sister wanted to see him
everthing went well I guess.....until it was their recess
shit shit shit....he didnt came and he was waiting for me
to come and go over and chat....but...but....
everything failed....because I wasnt being myself
and Im damn nervouse and scared......
this is so not me for the first time ever......
*what the hell Im doing "


yesterday tuesday I was still moody and upset
I dont get to see him and I din want to go back to that school
cause I knew I already made him bloody shit mad hell
but unfortunately Nat Siow my sis told me
"he" was looking for me after school and ask where were I?
and "sigh"....I went back home with a broken heart
"he" in the end also sound very upset....cause I left...... ):
anywaix Im very sorry for leaving early.....
I didnt know this will hurt the two of us....
night time...spend chatting on the phone
with my beloved Nat Siow (:

and today is Wednesday...
oh my gosh....three more days to go
Chinese New Year and Valentine Days
eeeeeeek still havent done any newyear shopping.....
I got cash!!! more cash!!! but have to save some...hehehe
while blogging....hmmm facebooking....and listening to techno....
tonight goin to 1U for shopping....weeeeeeeeeee
hmmm since Im so free lets set a list what I wanna shop for

♥my shopping list♥
*dresses from Forever 21
*clothes and tops from Top Shop
*6 inch heels beybe (:
*shorts pants and micro mine skirt (:
*cutie t-shirt frin Fos


yep yep...this is what I could think of......
anywaix....Im still crazy of baking cupcakes
and also making sushi for "him"
woots,I cant believe first time Im willing to sacrifice all my love for him (:
anywaix I just hoped everything went on well (:

Unlucky month?

one more week to go.....
just one more week.....

Chinese New Year......
and Valentine Day crash on the same day.....
ta-da.....Feb 14 :D hahahaha

seriously im happy for one reason
Chinese New Year coming soon
more angpao to collect..... ^^
and eat all the delicous yummy food


and erm....Valentine Day?
bah bah......forget bout it
maybe no one gonna ask me out or to pak toh with
im "Single" and "troube-free" from relation ship

anywaix Im in love I guess
the guy u guys dun need to know the name
I seriously love him to death till Im willin to do anything
except for silly stuff (:

what he loves is Japanese food
and so I guess I shall start learning how to make "SUSHI ROLLS" ^^
and some other yummyJapaenese food too ^^

all my four dudes brother
oh well lets just say they call or describe me
"Crazy for love" "Sacrifice out too much for love"
indeed yess I am in that situation...
so what who cares anywaix, Im the one whos in love
not my four dudes (:

besides not just learn how to make "Sushi rolls"
and "Japanese food".....etc....etc....
I must start learn how to bake delicious
hmmmm delicious and yummy cupcakes ^^
maybe some sweet chocolate too (:

and oh welll,the damn saddesr ever
all my bestie and friends
they are goin back to australia......TT
no one to celebrate birthday with me.....
or even go crazy hang outs.........

i will miss you all siah friends
but dont worry we shall keep in touch via facebook,skye and msn (: