Hate my life,wish I was dead

I really sincerely hate my life a lot
I would never find a damn happyness ever in my life
even though I've found a job at 1u Italianies so what?!
everyday also been through this shit and hell from my mom

My pay cheque is my money so say no shit
What i wanna use or spend or whatever hell of it is
its not your problem to care or whatever hell of it
Which guy I should be with or which friend I should mix with
please dont make decision for me,cus it depends on me and the guy

Now I dont completely feel like a 21year old adul
I have to go through every hell of it
its pain and deep inside in my heart and its bleeding
my own mom always treat me like that since i was young
I really cant communicate with my own mom very well

I dont wanna blog bout it
makes me feel like wanna die right now
keeps makes rules for it
and never ever treat me nice at all
I meant it and I know it